Before the Funeral
by AidennPluto
Summary: Spoilers for COG. Missing scene between Alec and Jace at the end, in which love, friendship, trust, and guilt are discussed. Family is where the heart is. Not AlecJace.


**A/N:** I spent several months absolutely hating and loving this series at the same time. Now that I finished COG, I think the balanced tipped to the love side, though the complete soap-opera-ish style had my poor brain in knots during some scenes.

Anyway, this is a missing scene between Jace and Alec before Valentine's funeral. Short, to the point, and it just ties up some ends that I really wanted to see tied up.

**Warnings:** SPOILERS for City of Glass! Possible OOC? I can't tell.

**Disclaimer:** Seriously. I own the series as much as Alec owns a Gucci suit (which may happen in the near future actually, if Magnus gets his way).

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"Hey," Jace said as he plopped down next to Alec. Alec said nothing; he didn't even acknowledge Jace was there except for a slight smile. He watched the sun rise steadily over the horizon, pouring crimson over Alicante and bathing it in the color of the blood shed the night before.

Jace stared at the sunrise too, but he didn't seem to be as mesmerized by it as Alec. "I thought we needed to talk," he said instead.

Alec again said nothing, indicating that if Jace had something to say he should say it. But Jace sighed in frustration, running a hand through his blond hair.

"You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?"

Alec glanced at him, amused, a teasing smile on his face. But the smile wasn't just teasing, Jace realized. It was real, free, and so genuine it had him wondering if he'd ever really seen Alec smile for real.

"I can't imagine why you'd need me to make this easy on you," Alec said. "Since I have no idea what you want to talk about." Not exactly true, but then again, he really didn't want to make things easier for Jace.

Jace looked at Alec and saw how the red of the sunrise reflected in Alec's blue eyes seemed to make them purple. "Clary's not my sister," he said, fully aware that Alec knew but feeling that he should say it anyway.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Dammit. My plans to take advantage of your vulnerability as you pine over her and seduce you are foiled."

Jace snorted. "So, I'm guessing that means you've realized you're not in love with me? It's about time."

Alec lowered his gaze to his hands, immediately becoming somber. "I don't think I realized I didn't love you," he said slowly, "so much that I go over you." Saying the words obviously made Alec uncomfortable, and he wouldn't meet Jace's eyes afterwards.

"I mean," he added, determined to go on, "I guess I thought there could have been… something since you never really liked any of the girls you hooked up with but…" he shrugged, before raising his eyes to defiantly meet Jace's, daring him taunt him about his feelings. Jace said nothing. "Magnus was there, you weren't, and I fell in love with him. And out of love with you."

Jace nodded, accepting it. "So it's okay then?"

Alec looked puzzled. "What's okay?"

"Us. Our friendship, brothership, whatever the hell you call this. I mean, I love Clary, but you and I have been together since we were kids. I'm not going to forget that you were my first friend."

Alec looked at him blandly. "You've forgotten it plenty of times over the past few months," he pointed out. "It hasn't exactly been easy dealing with your random suicidal tendencies when it came to a girl you'd just met, or with your complete refusal to tell me you might have been part demon."

Jace shifted uncomfortably. "You can't blame me for not wanting you to know about that."

"Yes, I can, Jace." Alec's eyes were ferocious. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I really like Clary, but you'd known her a month and you would have told her anything. I've known you for seven years and I've never given you any reason to believe I would have treated you differently, no matter what blood ran through your veins."

"I know," Jace whispered. "I know. I'm sorry."

But Alec shook his head. "I don't want you to be sorry. I just want to know if things have changed so much between us that you can't even trust me anymore."

The look in Alec's eyes was challenging, like he was daring Jace to prove to him he still trusted him.

Jace gritted his teeth. "Even if Clary had turned out to be my sister," he began, "I wouldn't have stayed away from her. I would still have wanted her. We nearly went all the way after I found out – well – after I thought I had found out I was a demon."

"By the Angel, Jace –"

"I'm telling you this because it's not something I'm proud of," he interrupted, "but something I know I can tell you and you won't treat me weird."

"Of course I won't treat you weird Jace. I told you I was gay and you didn't treat me weird."

"Technically, you didn't _tell _me –"

"Besides," Alec cut in. "I would probably be horrified if Magnus turned out to be my brother, but I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't be able to stay away from him either. Love is weird."

"Yea," Jace agreed. "And contrary to what I thought, it makes you stronger, not weaker," he mused.

Alec shook his head. "It doesn't make you stronger or weaker. Just different. Different priorities, different stakes. Love can still kill you."

Jace nodded. "But it can save you too."

They lapsed in silence for a while. The sun had risen completely, only to quickly be overtaken by clouds. Alec wanted to go inside, maybe look for Magnus, spend some time talking about inane things that meant nothing and at the same time everything. But one look at Jace's face told him the blond Shadowhunter was not done talking. So he stayed and waited to Jace to put what he meant to say into words.

"I'm sorry about Max," he finally said, almost too quiet to be heard. It wasn't the voice of the man who had destroyed Valentine's son. It was the voice of a guilt-ridden brother.

Alec felt a sharp pang of sadness as he thought of his little brother. Max with the big glasses and manga. Max with the serious face and the wish that people wouldn't treat him like a kid all the time. Max, who had nothing to do with anything that had been going on.

"I know. So am I."

"I knew there was something up with Sebastian. Jonathan. Whatever. If I had done something sooner –"

"He could have reacted and killed not just Max, but Isabelle too. And Clary, or Aline, or Simon or you, or me. Come on Jace. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault but Sebastian's, and maybe Valentine's. Or maybe it's all our faults for not listening to him or for bringing him up in this world. Either way, it doesn't matter."

"I think," Alec continued, "that of all of us, he was the only one who was innocent. And Sebastian didn't like that. Didn't like that we could shield him from Valentine. He didn't like the idea that a force as great as him could go unnoticed. Or at least ignored."

"I wish I could say I was thinking of him as I killed Sebastian." Jace said. He still couldn't think of him as Jonathan. "But I wasn't. I was thinking of –"

He didn't have to say it. Alec knew who he was thinking of. "That's okay. I don't think Max would have liked the idea that you were killing someone because of him. Even Sebastian."

Jace looked at him and there was a brief flash of something – gratitude? – in his eyes before they went back to being jaded. Alec stood up and offered Jace a hand. Jace took it and got up too, raising an eyebrow at the sky.

"Rain. Brilliant. The symbol of life on the day that we celebrate Valentine's death. And I still can't bring myself to hate him completely."

"Of course you can't. He raised you. You wouldn't be you if it weren't for him, no matter what else he may have done. And for that, I'm grateful."

Jace smiled at him. Once, that smile may have made Alec's face feel hot, but now it was just the smile of a friend. Of a brother. Of someone who'd always be there for him and someone he'd always be there for.

"Are you going to go to the funeral?" Alec asked.

"I don't think so."

Alec nodded in understanding. "I'll see you tonight then."

"Just to warn you though," Jace said as Alec headed inside. "If you show up with that just-laid look on your face tonight I swear I will tease you."

Alec did feel his face grow hot then. "If you tease me, I swear I'll give you details, which I'm sure you don't want to hear."

Alec stepped inside the house smiling as Jace laughed behind him.

_Brothers._

_They're a pain in the ass. _

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Was anyone else annoyed that within a month Jace magically forgot about his family and what they supposedly meant to him because he suddenly fell in love? Suddenly Clary was all he could see, even when Alec and Isabelle were his friends, siblings, and he should have cared about them more? Or am I just blinded by my disgust over true-love-destiny-we-were-meant-to-be-together stories?

::defensively:: I like Clary. Really, I do. Nevermind that I've known she and Jace weren't related since book two and their whole drama annoys me. I just think that Jace's friendship with Alec should have meant more to him.

p.s. Alec and Magnus – finally!

Review?


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